WHEN THE SNOW BOUGHT ME HOME

As I stare out the window and gaze upon the snow I can't help but think of my childhood. Back then everything seemed so easy. No pains or worries just enjoying life. As I recollect those wonderful times I remember spending countless moments with my family. The closest people to me then thats when life was great. Yeah we all had a few family problems here and there but the love we shared at the end of the day was indescribable. I also recollect the moments I spent with my closest friends. It was so much safer then. Especially being able to walk from my house in the morning walk a few doors down to the babysitter and then walk from the babysitters, past my house, and down that same street there was school. It was great walking to and from school with my family and friends and going to the babysitters house. God life seemed so easy then, I can't get over how fast time has gone. Now as I gaze out at the beautiful snow that good life along with those wonderful memories seem to come back so effortlessly. I guess because it reminds of being back with my family and what I call HOME (Ohio). The snow brings my HOME, my FAMILY, and those MEMORIES back to me. It makes me feel great because I do miss my HOME, and being that I have no family here the snow makes me feel at ease. It feels like I'm HOME even though I'm a long way from it. I kind of feel like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. I don't have to say take me back HOME, take me back HOME, take me back HOME, because the snow brought my HOME to me. Being in the mist of the snow makes me forget about all my problems from the past and the problems now. As I stand out in the snow I close my eyes to get a better effect of being back HOME. I see my mom and I living in a house that had been in our family for generations, my mom and I both grew up in that house at one point and the memories flowed as a stream of tears rolled down my face. Then reality sinks in and I realized that those memories would forever be in the past and I couldn't bring them back. Now I had to make my own memories all over again. There was no time to think how good it was to be a only child back then, not having my family down here, or the fact that the house that had been in my family for generations is in a terrible state and is about to be up for sale. Right then and there I decided to go inside and remind myself there were many more great Memories to come. Even though my HOME will never be the same as it was then it will always be my HOME!

SOMEONE LOST

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone and no one can find me. I am a lost soul waiting to be saved from the pain I carry with me everyday. There's always something going on “when is it all gonna stop?!” I wanna scream. The more I try to discover what has caused me to feel this way the more I seem to lose myself. In the mist of the world I sometimes wonder why I'm alive. “Why am I on this Earth?”, I ask myself. The answers seem to always be unanswered and I'm left alone. Some people would kill to have a moment to themselves and take a break but I'm far from that state. I need to be around people, keep myself busy just so I can feel a sense of want from somebody. I don't wanna waste time wondering what could've or should have been I've done too much of that and I think its about time things change. But how will I make such a change? I mean even though I want to be wanted I don't know how to transition to something so new to me. I have to figure it out but how? Once again I'm lost in my own thoughts! This is getting out of hand, I'm gonna change now. From this point on I have to step outside of my comfort zone and recognize its my time to be free. Realizing I have to live in the moment because in this generation and day in age your life is the most cherishing gift you have. No longer will I be an outsider its time to live my life they way it should be and I'm not gonna let anyone or anything get in the way of that! I realize I can't depend on everyone to guide me I gotta make my own path. If I make some screw ups along the way it doesn't matter because I'm my leader and I'm in control!