You & Me

The thought of you and me
its impossible to be
You broke my heart once before
that you can't attempt to restore
Because of you I lost trust and hope
now all I do is sit around and mope
But despite the pain you put me through
I still have deep feelings for you
No matter what you say I don't care
because the way you treated me was so unfair
My heart is so confused
and yet you're amused
Do you ever think about what you did?
if so, you probably couldn't admit it.
I constantly think of what use to be
Memories of you and me!

Siblings

Omg! I can't stand my siblings their always in my face bothering me. Its bad enough I already have to share a room with them and now I can't even write this blog. Right now at this moment their trying to read what I'm writing, pressing buttons trying to mess me up, and making irritating obnoxious noises. They really are getting on my nerves. Like right now at this time my sister keeps asking me what am I doing over and over and over and over and over and over!! Why can't they both just leave me alone for once in their annoying little lives!! I mean don't get me wrong I love them both to death but sometimes I feel like I could pull out all my hair. I can't wait til they get my age so I can really show them a piece of my mind!! Until then I'm trying to hang in there til its time for me to go on about my own life...Can't wait til that day!!!!

!!JUNIOR YEAR!!

So, next year I will be a junior. Its nerve-wrecking to think that I'm moving up to new point in my life. this is the time where everything I do counts the most and it's a scary situation. We have so many test to take to prepare us for the real deal. I know juniors now who have to sign up for an SAT to see how well they'll do for early registration for colleges. This year has gone by so fast and before you know it I'll be that junior going to take my practice SAT. The main thing that scares me the most about that is, I'm not really great with test and when it comes to taking a test I don't do so great. So now I'm starting to realize that some of my ways have in order to be able to go to a great college. I know next year is going to put so much pressure on me and I don't think I'm quite prepared for all the hard work headed my way. It's exciting just to know that I've made it another year but having to work a little more harder isn't quite easy for me.
Sometimes I wish I could finish school in a day or a week if that were possible boy how happy I would be.

DISCOVERY OF CANDYLAND

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A CANDY SHOP CALLED MIKE'S CANDY DELIGHTS. MIKE HAS A 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER NAMED SPICE. ONE DAY WHILE HELPING HER MOTHER CLEAN UP THE CANDY SHOP , SPICE HEARD TINY VOICES COMING FROM A HUGE LOLLIPOP DISPLAY. SPICE WAS CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT THE NOISE WAS SO SHE WENT TO GO GET A MAGNIFYING GLASS. AS SHE LOOKED UP CLOSE SHE SEEN A VILLAGE FILLED WITH LITTLE PEOPLE. THIS VILLAGE WAS KNOWN AS CANDY LAND. CANDYLAND WAS FOUNDED BY A GIRL NAMED CANDY. THE PEOPLE OF CANDY LAND HAD BEEN IN SEARCH OF A HOME BECAUSE THEIR PREVIOUS HOME HAD BEEN DESTROYED. CANDY HAD HER OWN TELESCOPE, WHICH SHE MADE OUT OF TWIZZLERS. SO SHE WAS ABLE TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE STORE. IT JUST SO HAPPENED SHE SEEN SPICE LOOKING AT HER SO SHE BEGAN TALKING TO SPICE. THEY TALKED ABOUT HOW CANDYLAND CAME TO BE ABOUT AND HOW LONG THEY'D BEEN THERE. AFTER TALKING FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES CANDY MADE SPICE PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE. SPICE AGREED AND EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL SHE WOULD STOP BY AND TALK TO CANDY FOR A FEW MINUTES. SPICE'S MOM BEGIN TO NOTICE SHE WAS TALKING TO THE DISPLAY AND TOLD HER SHE WAS GOING TO TAKE HER TO A THERAPIST. SPICE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO A “SHRINK” SO SHE TOLD HER MOM ABOUT CANDY AND CANDYLAND. HER MOM LOOKED AT HER LIKE SHE WAS AN ALIEN, UNTIL SPICE TOLD HER TO LOOK THROUGH THE MAGNIFYING GLASS. HER MOM WAS SHOCKED TO SEE WHAT WAS BEFORE HER EYES. SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE ALL THE LITTLE PEOPLE SHE WAS SEEING. FOR A MOMENT SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS DREAMING SO SHE PINCHED HERSELF AND CLOSED HER EYES. WHEN SHE OPENED HER EYES SHE SEEN CANDY LOOKING AT HER. CANDY WAS WORRIED THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TO RELOCATE BUT SOON WON OVER SPICE'S MOM AND WAS ABLE TO CONVINCE HER TO LET THEM TO CONTINUE TO LIVE THERE. AFTER AGREEING TO LET THEM STAY THEY WENT TO MIKE TO MAKE SURE HE WOULD BE COOL WITH IT. AT FIRST HE WAS SCEPTICAL ABOUT THE SITUATION BUT DECIDED TO SHOWCASE CANDYLAND OFF TO HIS CUSTOMERS. HE WENT TO THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER AND TOLD THEM THE STORY. AFTER THAT THE WHOLE CITY KNEW ABOUT CANDYLAND. MIKE'S CANDY DELIGHTS HAD GROWN LOTS BUSINESS AND PEOPLE WOULD SPEND HOURS AT A TIME IN THE STORE JUST TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON IN CANDYLAND. EVERYONE WERE AMAZED AT THIS LITTLE DISCOVERY AND NOW THANKS TO SPICE THEIR CITY IS KNOWN FOR HAVING THE BEST CANDY IN THE STATE.

THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT

I hate when my parents seem to be right about everything. They always seem to know the answers to everything. I know I often question the certain choices and decisions they make but then I realize they are right. And that's what makes me sooo upset. Every time I make a mistake or I lie, I'm able to keep hide it for a while but not for long. Because some how they always seem to find out everything! I know I shouldn't lie at the time it seems right, but then I realize I'm wrong. Even though I have to suffer the wrath of my parents I'm glad they find out when they do so I don't have to stress about it anymore. I used to think they don't want me to do nothing but then I realized they have reasons for every mistake I make. They always tell me, “I was young too, and I've been through this before so I know what you're going through.” “And you can't out smart me, so don't ever try to pull one over on me.” Its the same every time, it never fells! The bad part is being able to admit their right even though I want to be right. I guess that's one of the many privileges of being a parent. You never want someone to make the same mistakes you did especially if you know what the outcome will be. You can't stop someone from doing what they want completely but you can offer your words of advice and hope they'll take what you say into consideration. If they know what's best for them they'll listen or they'll learn for themselves

WHEN THE SNOW BOUGHT ME HOME

As I stare out the window and gaze upon the snow I can't help but think of my childhood. Back then everything seemed so easy. No pains or worries just enjoying life. As I recollect those wonderful times I remember spending countless moments with my family. The closest people to me then thats when life was great. Yeah we all had a few family problems here and there but the love we shared at the end of the day was indescribable. I also recollect the moments I spent with my closest friends. It was so much safer then. Especially being able to walk from my house in the morning walk a few doors down to the babysitter and then walk from the babysitters, past my house, and down that same street there was school. It was great walking to and from school with my family and friends and going to the babysitters house. God life seemed so easy then, I can't get over how fast time has gone. Now as I gaze out at the beautiful snow that good life along with those wonderful memories seem to come back so effortlessly. I guess because it reminds of being back with my family and what I call HOME (Ohio). The snow brings my HOME, my FAMILY, and those MEMORIES back to me. It makes me feel great because I do miss my HOME, and being that I have no family here the snow makes me feel at ease. It feels like I'm HOME even though I'm a long way from it. I kind of feel like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. I don't have to say take me back HOME, take me back HOME, take me back HOME, because the snow brought my HOME to me. Being in the mist of the snow makes me forget about all my problems from the past and the problems now. As I stand out in the snow I close my eyes to get a better effect of being back HOME. I see my mom and I living in a house that had been in our family for generations, my mom and I both grew up in that house at one point and the memories flowed as a stream of tears rolled down my face. Then reality sinks in and I realized that those memories would forever be in the past and I couldn't bring them back. Now I had to make my own memories all over again. There was no time to think how good it was to be a only child back then, not having my family down here, or the fact that the house that had been in my family for generations is in a terrible state and is about to be up for sale. Right then and there I decided to go inside and remind myself there were many more great Memories to come. Even though my HOME will never be the same as it was then it will always be my HOME!

SOMEONE LOST

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone and no one can find me. I am a lost soul waiting to be saved from the pain I carry with me everyday. There's always something going on “when is it all gonna stop?!” I wanna scream. The more I try to discover what has caused me to feel this way the more I seem to lose myself. In the mist of the world I sometimes wonder why I'm alive. “Why am I on this Earth?”, I ask myself. The answers seem to always be unanswered and I'm left alone. Some people would kill to have a moment to themselves and take a break but I'm far from that state. I need to be around people, keep myself busy just so I can feel a sense of want from somebody. I don't wanna waste time wondering what could've or should have been I've done too much of that and I think its about time things change. But how will I make such a change? I mean even though I want to be wanted I don't know how to transition to something so new to me. I have to figure it out but how? Once again I'm lost in my own thoughts! This is getting out of hand, I'm gonna change now. From this point on I have to step outside of my comfort zone and recognize its my time to be free. Realizing I have to live in the moment because in this generation and day in age your life is the most cherishing gift you have. No longer will I be an outsider its time to live my life they way it should be and I'm not gonna let anyone or anything get in the way of that! I realize I can't depend on everyone to guide me I gotta make my own path. If I make some screw ups along the way it doesn't matter because I'm my leader and I'm in control!